Misplaced Priority – My Spouse or My Job?

“What the lord has joined together let no man put asunder” most definitely is one of the phrases proclaimed by the priest during a marriage ceremony confirming the union of a man and a woman as husband and wife. But how often do we allow people, situations and policies affect this God given instruction?

Rightly said and in line with the bible, that is how God ordained it to be and should be the basis on which the marriage is established. This declaration implies that no man, or ordinances hypothesizedv by man should interfere with the unity that exist in marriage. Once this unity is compromised by either party’s misplaced priority, the union is on its path to decline. You do not need psychic to predict what the end would be. This also includes parents, siblings, friends, children, employers and already the priest that joined both parties in marriage.

Our society today has relegated the sanctity of marriage to the background. The general without of regard to the marriage institution has crept into organizations, businesses and in some way has begun to create a state of misplaced priorities in the minds of married employees. For married employees working in an organization, it is very important that they understand who their allegiance is to first, and the boundaries that need to be in place when working for a company. As a matter of fact, I believe any spouse that has any attention to the marriage institution should inquire at the job interview what the company’s policy is concerning married employees. In my opinion, if they do not have policies that sustain marriages or encourage its sustainability, you should not take the job no matter how well paid it is, whether it is your dream job or not or has the best career possible. You have to consider the effect the job description would have on your spouse and children if you have kids. It is very important to have a very clear idea of the kind of job you want and also make sure you ask at the interview to find out if the company is right for you. Sometimes you may be desperate to get a job and ignore this step, but at the long run it would cost you more that you expected after the euphoria of getting the job has waned. Except you are deliberately getting the job to get away from your spouse and family, you should take this point very seriously.

It is sad to say that there are companies that do not respect marriages and it is reflected in their policies. On area is not allowing married employees bring their spouses to events such as Christmas parties and the likes. Of course, the depraved society that we live in see flirting at work, having illicit relationships and sex in offices, fornication, adultery and scandals as the order of the day. Bosses and employees, secretary and bosses etc all want to have a fling with one another. Social events like these give the opportunity to fulfill fantasies and to misbehave especially under the influence of alcohol and the euphoria of the charged air. No surprise, spouses are excluded from such events. To me that should be a tell sign to a decent and focused spouse that his or her days are numbered in that company if the job contract was signed without prior knowledge of this policy.

The spouse’s first allegiance is to God, then his or her spouse. The job, boss, employer or money should not already be considered when the unity of the associate is threatened. A spouse that is happy to go to such events without the spouse should pause a while and think again. If he or she has no skeleton in the cupboard or anything to hide you should not already consider going. You do not need to attend under peer pressure or fear of not being promoted or accusations of being anti-social. You must have clear priorities, values and boundaries which you must abide to eliminate any thing that may copy doubt or suspicion in your home. Your job is time related but your marriage is a lifelong commitment. You will definitely retire one day; you may change jobs several times before retirements but your marriage is to death.

My question to you today is what is your priority, your spouse or your job? Your pay check of your spouse’s love? Acceptance by your colleagues at work or you spouse’s trust? Your bosses affirmation or peace in your home? We live by the decisions we make daily. Every decision we make or do not make has an effect on our lives, marriages and family. In situations like this if you do not make the decision, it would be made for you by default.

Originated by: Ask Dr. P

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